#'what's up with the fatass

[valewritessss]

Should I sneak into the kitchen to get a cookie at midnight yes or no

[s1llycilantro]

Now that Shiver is the leader I hope she uses all that money she saved up to fake her death and disappear forever.

[francy-sketches]

jon im sorry about your brother or whatever but why do you have to fatshame my boy what has he ever done to you. kys

[puppetdoggy]

Eating healthier getting more active being on a set schedule and taking my meds regularly. Literally doing everything people recommend to help you feel “better.” And I’m still so fucking drained and exhausted and lethargic all the time. No matter what I do.

[bloogers-boogers]

Kyle Brofloski/ Eric Cartman (Sp fic)

('What up with the fatass?')

/Let me slide into your DM's/ part 3

Stan's gang meet up in discussion of their future revelation.

"If we either become queermo pussies or boring ass side characters, your choice!"

Slight warning ⚠️ slurs, and well, it's a sp fic you could either expect both good or bad outcomes from it.

Btw important! It gonna get kinda gory and sensible topics are gonna be told in this chapter and the following others, so please if you're not comfortable with that type of stuff I don't recommend!

Author's note: I managed to link the chaps! So it'll be easier for u guys to switch between chapters ❤🙏🏼 again thx for the help u guys and also for the comments! I read each one of them! I'm very grateful for u guys, I'm glad u seem to enjoy my writing even if it can be a little off and confusing at points my vocabulary can be a little limited so I'm trying to expand it so it doesn't sound to iffy, ok time to read! 🤗

Second note: south park pov will be mostly Kyle's pov (technically just the gangs pov it'll be on Kyle's perpective) and north park would be Cartman's just wanted to make that clear! C:

~~~~~~

It's the day, the day that officially declares its been a month since Cartman moved, would this count as a 'Cartman anniversary'? Kyle really didn't want to know, he just wanted to do something.

Even if that meant having a fat bitch nagging, mocking, taunting him all the damn time. His life was starting to feel hallow, empty, numb, boring..

It felt meaningless? He's starting to feel what he assumed the adults of their town were going through; a internal crisis. Why did the fatass formed such a big part of what he's experiencing now?

How can someone so annoying make such a impact on him? On his brain and heart. Or was it that Cartman had already long gone manipulated into believing that he needed him to keep that flame in him.

Manipulated all of town, fuck, even the animals were looking bored as hell.

He layyed himself whole, flat stomach against the couch, bored looking face with his cheeks squishing against a cushion, it felt like he was going through some really bad break up, like the whole town was going through one. He grabbed the remote turning on the tv.

'Breaking news‼️: citizens across the country are now voting for the most lame uncharacteristic bland ass town of America! Polls are being equally divided between California's 'I eat fist' town, Texas 'sausage' town and ofcourse recently now unoriginal town in state of Colorado dropped by 68% to 1% in less than a month, 'South park', being one of the most demolished rates in history to beat a score of lameness about 59% in half a second! People claiming they barely even recognize the name, I barely remember the town itself if it weren't for this piece of paper that reminded of it! —'

He groaned loudly as he face slammed on to the cushions, letting out a heavy frustrating moan.

Now they were being ridiculed by their whole country for not being 'exciting' or 'interesting' enough.

He hated this feeling, he couldn't help but to pinned the blame on Cartman. He grunted reluctantly taking out his phone and opening his gallery, zoning out enough to block the new reporter's blabbering.

He scrolled to his countless pictures of family, friends, events, holidays, birthdays, trips and all that crap. He tapped on the first picture that just caught his attention; just fatass hogging his phone that day, making a collage of himself with vulgar gestures and weird looking faces.

'So original' he remembered remarking to Cartman, as the other just took out his tongue teasingly.

Scrolling once more, he halted in a picture were it was just Cartman making himself a mess with chocolate ice cream all splattered over his face; an annoyed look as his eyes darted at his hands by how ice creamy covered they were, cone half done being hold by his thumb pressed against his index.

He remembers taking a snap to make fun of Cartman later on because of how funny he thought it was, but he never actually used it and in reality he didn't find it as funny AFTER; once he second and third looked at it, more like, amusing. He found the picture amusing. Amusing enough to keep it saved in his gallery but also hogging it from others to see and share that se sentiment probably taking all the special to it.

After two more pictures, he clicked on a video, it was Cartman, once again, hogging his phone:

Rec🔴 0:06 - ⏮ ⏸ ⏭ -3:46

'Dammit, jew! Don't be so stingy!' There was a lot of movement making the camera shake viciously.

'Shut up, Cartman! Give me back my phone!'

'Worried I'll take all your cloud gigs too quickly?' Half Cartman's face seen, including that childish taunting pout of his.

'Ofcourse asshole! Do you know how much I have to pay for extra cloud storage!?'

'Stop being greedy and acting like your rich lawyer dad doesn't pay for your shit'

'My dad isn't rich'

'But he's a lawyer and a JEW'

'That makes zero sense'

'You know damn well what I mean'

Cartman than moved the camera angle in a wide frame showing both boys; one frowning angrily and the other smirking casually while he slightly waved at the camera before placing it steady and walking next to, well himself, Kyle.

Looking at his fat friend in a questioning look as he keep staring at the camera while standing next to him.

'What're you doing fat boy?' Before anything else he was gut punched in the gut.

'Ha! That's what you get for being greedy and letting your guard down, Kahal! Hahahaha!'

'That does it!' He screamed furiously standing up from his computer chair and chased Cartman around his room like two foolish kids messing around. Cartman smiling wide as he'd run from a fuming redhead.

3:46 - ⏮ ▶️ ⏭ -0:00 🔁

Kyle beamed by the memory, a nauseous revolving feeling surge in his stomach.

Moments like these is were he grasped hard into the somewhat relationship he had with Cartman, sometimes it was just hard to give up on him. Even if he's proven to be irredeemable, unforgiving, unfixable. Cartman could pathetically look at him with the most sad puppy eyes he's ever seen and couldn't bare himself but cease in and try to help once more. Which was stupid. But how can he just let him destroy himself further? That kid got issues, and as a friend, a group they had to stick up together right?

He felt more responsible over Cartman than anyone else from this whole fucking town, sometimes he even believed Cartman also shared that same mentality an unhealthy dependency on him for seeking help, get him out from trouble or just checking if he was being paranoid or hallucinating too much again, which he always did.

Kyle knew it was unhealthy what they had, but it was something strong they built. Or maybe it was just he who built it..? Cartman seemed to be doing well with out him..

Maybe he was the one being a little too attached? Which was ridiculous to believe, Cartman has always obsessed over him to point he even questioned if he was definitely a percentage away on being sent to a psycho ward.

Ofcourse that never happened, but he was damn nuts and had the ginger in his mind all 24/7, and he never denied being that way.

Shamelessly admitting he had broke into his room countless times, no boundaries were set between them, they even barge into the bathroom while they were using it. By that point nothing was 'too' embarrassing for them to encounter together. Those layers of privacy were non-existant between the two, for fuck sake he had put a finger up Cartman's ass once! What's more that could up that shit? By that point he could expect Cartman to steal a kiss from him for a scheme of his and he wouldn't bat an eye to it, probably punching him straight in the face for it; but still unbothered.

It's not like he hadn't taken up worse? He's eaten shit from a Japanese man's butthole, had swim and drink pee and was forcefully driven to smell Cartman's farts for the sake of the world. Friends with a literal talking shit, friends with a literal schizophrenic psychopath and having to endure aids for that same stupid bitch. Being turned down from the basketball league because he wasn't a tall black boy, having surgery and yet still had his knees explode mid game, traumatic. Hemorrhoids, a kidney failure, a manbear pig attack, a smug storm.. countless near death experiences.

Yeah, a kiss wouldn't be torturous. Cartman could kiss him, he should kiss him to prove his point.

Maybe he was the one to be mentally fucked up?

Nah, he's fine.

°°°°°

Kyle headed to the bus stop, spotting Stan eating some flaming chips, something odd he'd been noticing of his friend was his binge eating. Ever since Cartman left he had been hogging food everywhere they'd go; when they go play video games, he'd go to the kitchen and look through the fridge grabbing snacks and drinking high sugary beverages like mountain dew or smoothie mixed with coca, at the cafeteria he'd steal some of Butters fries or Kyle's half eaten burger, he even picked a fight with Craig for the last piece of chocolate cake they had there, even while they walked to someplace he'd always had a bar of chocolate in hand or a pack of sweets.

It was starting to be concerning but he hasn't pointed it out to Stan yet atleast until Wendy does, he knew Wendy was already planning on making an intervention for Stan soon, she's asked Kyle beforehand to keep track of what Stan's been eating to give her a list, which is why he notice right away of Stan's problem. Maybe it was a coincidence to link Cartman's absence to it, but who else had a binge eating problem that wasn't fatass?

"Morning dude," He greeted placing himself next to the now chubby kid.

Yes, Stan also have been gaining weight by the excessive food he's been eating. It was barely noticeable for the eye, but for people as close like Kyle, Wendy, Kenny and Butters, it was damn obvious.

"Mornin'," Stan mumbled out, unfazed while munching on some chips, his fingers were all greasy and hand cheeto dust all over.

"Did you see the news?," Kyle asked, looking at the road too uninterested with the small talk.

"You mean how they all we're calling south park a bunch of 'jackin' offing losers'?" He remarked the reporter's comment in exact detail.

Kyle nodded silently, they were really being pounded down to the ground with all the insults directed their way.

"Did you also hear about North Park?," his best friend added now sparking the redhead's attention.

"What is it?," he asked now intrigued.

"It's been up the ranking of wackiness and bizarre they were offered to make a show about it, can you believe it?" Stan commented incredulous.

Kyle was bewildered, no fucking way. Not even south park were offered that privilege while having fatass in town, now.. no, that's too much of a coincidence.

"It's fatass," he blurted out, making Stan look at him surprised.

He slammed the table with his right fist, now inside the meeting being formed that same night, their usual hide out; Cartman's basement, which Kenny helped barge in the locked house even if everything was empty and piled up with dust (with the exception of the table and white board they brought while entering). They were too stubborn to look for another place to meet up in so ofcourse the hide out wouldn't change until the house is actually sold.

He looked up at the group of kids there: Craig's gang, Stan's and ofcourse Wendy's.

"I think we all know why we're here."

Clyde looked concerned to his left, "because.. of the new mermaid movie..?" He winced out uncertain.

"No, fatass! We're not here for some dumb gay fish movie!," he shouted annoyed, huffing as he paced around the room in a typical Cartman manner.

"We're here to get Cartman back," Stan chimed in his seat, a bowl of chocolaty creamy strawberries in hand oblivious eating them while a concerned Wendy looked his way.

"Why?" Craig asked in his typical monotone voice.

"Because, we're nothing with out fatass," He finally blurted out, placing both his hands on the table looking at them directly.

"S-say that again?" Jimmy spoke up more confused than being sarcastic.

"Guys, ever since Cartman left everything has been dulled," He continued, now dragging the white board infront of them taking off the sheet that covered it; revealing their plan strategy, "south park has always had an untold curse to it, we all know about the anomaly and whack shit we've have to endure by living here"

"I always thought it was because of you four," Token commented unfazed.

"Point is," Kyle ignored, looking at the board, "not having Cartman around has abruptly lower our percentage to zero," He pointed with a marker a drawing of Cartman and a field around him signaling the 'curse'.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Annie pointed out.

"No, if we want to be seen as the pussy town of Colorado with no name," He snapped back bitter.

Luckily most of the kids there agreed with him, making him seem less crazy for wanting Cartman back.

"Kyle's right, ever since Eric moved away my parents now ground me because of boredom. They don't even care if I do good in school or not they just nag about moving away to some fart smelling city like New York to get some action again," Butters added grabbing a strawberry from Stan's bowl.

"My dad sent me to Denver the other day for a gallon of milk and asked me about the weather there," Tweek also added to the pile of complaints.

"My parents sold both my sister's bike and my coin collection away and replaced them with a pile of balloon clowns," Craig added now indulge in the subject.

"My parents bought a zoo and have been living inside the gorilla habitat for two weeks," Heidi added a little ashamed as she looked downwards, probably reluctantly admitting Cartman may need to come back to solve her issue.

"My mom has bought over 300 pair of shoes in a week were almost going broke," Nichole hesitantly added.

Wendy sighed as she intertwined her fingers defeated, "My dad has been going nonstop to strip clubs and my mom has been pimping out some male colleagues of hers," she admitted embarrassed, "it's clear south park is going into a crisis."

"And my dad has been up in sales for all the weed he's sold to south park residents," Stan complained chugging five strawberries in his mouth, annoyed, "ever-veryone's hig-gh as fuck like wi-with the tegrity b-burger sales," He mumbled out, slapping Kenny's hand away from his bowl as the blonde looked at him offended.

Butters snickering next to him as he had successfully stolen a strawberry from Stan previously.

"Cartman is like a endless void," Kyle added, now circulating the drawing of Cartman and drawing a pointer down, "with out it, there nothing that can suck all of our shit down," He wrote his points up then signaled a pile of adults destroying the town, "making everthing go into an endless loop of wanting a purpose and still not finding anything while destroying what we have left with ACTUAL consequences. A reset button up Cartman's ass to restart our day, to fix our shit. Pretty much with out it the damages we make today stays, while still being so uncharacteristically damaged were basically nothing.

For some reason Cartman is that damn reset button, he takes the curse with him it just makes sense why we still put up with his shit and he hasn't been sent to jail for all the atrocities he's done. He CAN'T leave south park, everything has to be put to an end with each day, everything has to be back to normal with each common episode. If there's a long continuity it's gonna feel dragged and force it'll become boring like the Mr Garrison election, tegrity farms and the pandemic special so the curse will start to self destruct itself until it ends it.

Technically, we're in a episode with continuity.

And we're dragging it too far, being matter of weeks or days before our town becomes nothing but a running old gag people give zero fucks about, targeting their attention to something new making Cartman's curse merge into the new hole it's in.

In this case; north park," He finished finally circulating a drawing of the town and a North park Cartman on the side.

Everyone kept silent as they were captivated by the long explanation.

"Damn, dude. Have you gotten any sleep?," Craig commented bewildered.

"Does this have something to do with aliens?" Clyde chimed in now freaked out, bitting his finger nails and looking frantically between Kyle and the group.

"That, I don't know," Kyle responded tirelessly, now sighing heavily. It's almost concluding another day with out Cartman, and if his theories are right, it could be dangerous, "we need to manage to go to North park and get Cartman."

"What if Eric doesn't want to get back?" Butters spoke up, now everyone looking at him attentively.

Right, out all of them there, Cartman updates Butters everything that's been going on around his new lifestyle.

"Do you know something Butters?," Kyle inquired skeptical with a glare.

"No.." He dismissively looked Kenny's way before looking at something else, "Eric's really liking North Park that's all," he admitted in almost a whisper, after brief seconds.

°°°°°°

Kyle walked back home with his hands shoved inside his pockets, glaring at the ground beneath him.

Cartman is liking North Park because of his curse not much because he's actually liking it, he tried reasoning with that. But it wasn't still reassuring.

He began slapping the side of his head trying to shoo away any thoughts of Cartman, but he just couldn't stop thinking about him.

'MeooOow' a distressed cat moaned, snapping him out of it; it came behind some bushes near the Steven's residence. He approached cautiously and found a old grey kitty that licked it's paw and hiss at him after noticing his presence.

"Mr kitty?" Kyle blurted out softly unfazed by the aggressive attitude, Cartman had left his cat?

He reached out for her, holding on to her tightly being scratched in the face in the process 'defensive instincts' he thought, wincing out by the stingy pain.

Okay, Cartman would never abandon Mr kitty like that. That's unlike him, if there's something he knew as a fact was that Cartman loved his cat even if he had a hard time admitting it, he'd always made sure his cat was home before midnight and would check if her food was place in her bowl.

Even though he'd angrily complained about the cat craving the food he'd have in hand instead of her cat food, Kyle has seen from time to time how Cartman would cease in the meowing giving food from his plate to Mr kitty. He thought it was disgusting seeing him eat from the same plate as the cat did but never bother commenting it, cause it was an adorable quality of his. Just like when he'd hand feed it letting the cat licked everything off his palm and then later off using that same hand to eat a pile of chicken nuggets with out washing his hands. It was gross for sure, but it was cute.

He winced by the thought of even considering Cartman remotely 'cute', he got home, still a rabid cat in hands. It's liked the cat hated him, but then again... it is Cartman's.

"Hold on there, mister," his mother stopped him before heading upstairs, "what is that?" She pointed at the hissing feline.

Kyle arched a brow, "it's a cat, don't worry I'm just keeping it for a while until a friend comes back from a trip." He explained, hoping that would be enough for his mom to let it go.

"Kyle, don't think I've forgotten about your chessing phase," she remarked, now hands placed on her hips, "is that it? Are you chessing?" She asked worrisome.

"No, ma. I'm serious, this is just my friend's cat," He rolled his eyes, still not believing his mother still thought he chessed once.

She arched a brow skeptical, reluctantly believing his words.

"Okay, bubbie.. but one showing symptom of it and that cat is out," she warned pointedly, as she walked back to the kitchen, "and keep that cat far from your father's office he wouldn't want to step on cat poop," she shouted after.

"Okay, ma," He responded back, running to his room as he shut the door letting the cat out of his arms, as he whined out from the stingy small war wounds (scratches) on his hands and arms somehow her nails got under his jacket sleeves.

Mr kitty hid under his bed as she couldn't escape from the window because it was closed.

He sighed as he approached his drawer and opened a cabinet, which he had a small aid kit. He took out some alcohol and began putting some on the scratches that actually had blood pouring out.

He glance to his side noticing Mr kitty peeking out from his bed but instantly glaring at him in a defensive stance as she growled.

Man, that cat really hated his ass.

Kyle couldn't help but wonder if Cartman could've trained her to hate him, but he then dismissed it as Cartman's wasn't the type to be too hyped on something that had no gained for him. He'll get easily bored by less than an hour, if plausible 20 minutes and 33 seconds to be exact.

He kneeled down and began mimicking Cartman's gay little song he'd use to lure his cat when she'd ran off from home. He had memorized it by the countless times he's heard him sing it out loud to the neighborhood with zero shame.

Singing has been such a Cartman's thing to do, he realized how both mother and son always had a thing to easily communicate by song and he wouldn't be surprised if that cat too was also taught to listen by musical notes.

One of Cartman's perks of singing endlessly since a toddler really brought fruit to his voice, so neighbors nearly complained when he'd sang out for his cat. His voice was marvelous, angelic, the type that'll lure you like a siren to a crew of sailors, a easy way to trick and manipulate people into listening to him or doing what he says. Something he definitely seen Cartman use for his advantage.

Even, as awful it is to admit, he's fallen for his curse various times himself. He'd be caught listening in his window as he'd watch from afar his arch-rival walking through the sidewalk singing to Mr kitty to come back and threatening her lastly to give her the garlic food instead of the tuna which most of the time worked, cause the cat would dash back to her owners arms after listening on not having tuna for dinner.

"Miaw miaw miaw come kitty, come Mr kitty kitty!" he awkwardly sing, as he watched the cat immediately tilted her head interested, "who's a good Mr kitty? Miaw kitty kitty miaw miaw.." he felt his voice cracked after a couple of 'miaws', he wasn't as in tune like Cartman was but he didn't think he was that bad either.

"Miaw miaw miaw miaw~

Kitty kitty kitty

Who's my Mr kitty? I love my kitty kitty~!" He never thought he'd be singing for a cat but there he was, now seeing the cat cautiously walked twoards him.

He carefully extended his hand in a welcoming gesture, expecting the cat to put her paw there but instead she smelled it before nuzzling against his hand with a purr.

Now that's awfully cute, he wasn't much of a cat person he preferred lizards or elephants, but he won't deny Cartman's cat was adorable.

He gently patted her head not knowing how cat owners tended to show their felines affection, he just knew by online critics that cats were evil cold living creatures and would prefer to not be disturb. The last time he's ever grabbed a cat was when he had to hide that damn cat Kenny would use for chessing, and he shoved it in his drawer not really caring much for it. He could've almost forgotten it if his mother didn't caught him with it.

But this one was Cartman's, she was special to him, so he had to make sure she'd be fine while fatass is away. Or Cartman could go all psycho on them if something were to happened to her once he's back.

And he had no plans on dealing with one of those episodes again.

He's learned from what happened to Scott, mitch Connor, 'cupid yee' or 'me' or whatever (he just remembers Stan commented about Cartman's little episode to him while explaining of how things lead the way it did), skank hunt (he wasn't sure to count that one, but Cartman wasn't the same at that time like if he were broken)or the 1% issue, that an emotional Cartman is a reckless 'not to be messed' one.

Cause you really don't know how'd he'd react and take it, which becomes a nerve wrecking roulette. Cartman had limits where once you pass the highest grounds, you're over. You either die, emotionally traumatized/ wound for life or spared (which is unlikely).

He remembered a kid calling him tubby it wasn't a big deal until he took it too far and 'humiliated' Cartman in the assembly. Cartman took it as if the boy was out to get him, which he technically was but his fate was counted.

Both Stan and himself knew he wasn't gonna make it to middle-school.

Surprisingly the boy was given a 'light' punishment being sent to a juvenile prison by a crime he clearly didn't commit but was then executed after three weeks cause a few inmates accused him for slaughtering another in the bathrooms.

Supposedly the aftermath had nothing to do with Cartman but both he and Stan were skeptical about it.

Then there was this other boy that had the balls to smack Cartman's ass in a football game. Yeah, let's say that one didn't last a week after the incident. For what he heard, that boy was given to pigs dismembered in bits and a bullet wound in his head. He remembered how fucked up it was for Cartman to show up to the boy's grieving parents home and gave them his condolences. It's like he gets even more gruesome with his vengeful antics each time he'd snap.

This could count as a 'group' thing but it was mostly Cartman influenced, cause it really messed them up for a period.

A fat old grumpy man almost raped him in a parking lot, it was their darkest secret yet as a group, as a whole.

He remembered that night vividly, they were at a club Butters snuck them in while he worked there, and as they were all vibing and looking at all the hot chicks there Kenny had asked if anyone had a lighter on them Cartman said he had one in his bicycle pouch, so he went out to fetched it, seemed it was more of an excuse to leave as he did notice Cartman seemed uncomfortable being at that place, and second he wouldn't offer to get it for Kenny he would straight up just tell him to go get it himself.

It took a couple of minutes and he recalls how they all started wondering if Cartman had actually ditched them, so they all went looking for him outside.

And for their horror saw Cartman sobbing uncontrollably as some man had him pinned against the hood of a blue Honda, trying to unbottoned his pants as he rubbed his crotch against his. This wasn't as with snooki, it was far worse cause he noticed bruises forming up his throat and face; weakening Cartman before the actual action.

'Holy shit' was the only thing he heard Stan blurt out in shock.

That was the night something in him snapped, and intentionally murder a man.

He remembered how everything became so blurry and slow as Stan anxiously yanked him away from the bloody body while being covered in blood from head to toes, as Kenny yelled saying he'll tell Butters to cover them up with the security footage, while Cartman whimpered and sobbed still panting frantically in the hood.

It was the most saddest shit he's ever seen Cartman been.

They dragged the body to starks pound.

Cartman was a mess, but fuck, he didn't want to ever see a friend be in a situation like that ever again.

They hid behind some cars as a police officer passed by, dragging the body with difficulty even being four boys. The man weighted over 300 pounds and with the added 'dead' weight it worsen it.

Everything seemed so surreal.

Cartman finally spoke after being so zoned out by the whole thing, they tossed the body inside a wooden boat. Took a lighter out from his pocket, the same lighter that was the whole reason they were all there to begin with.

Kenny poured gasoline all over it while puffing his last cigarette, and Cartman lit it up pushing the boat away from the edge with a small kick.

"This will be in grave a secret until we die"

That was Cartman's way of telling him 'thanks' even if it was the most devastating coldly thing he's ever done, Cartman could've use that to blackmail him or even get rid of him for good. But he never told a soul once it was all over, acting like it never happened.

He remembered he had to strip naked to get rid of his clothes and tossed it in the flaming boat, how'd he had to use some clothes from Walmart Stan had went to purchase them while he shaked tremendously by the intensity of the whole thing.

After that, they never spoked of it again and Kenny quit smoking.

°°°°

He hold Mr kitty in his arms, the cat warmed up to him very quickly than he had expected her to be.

She nuzzle with a purr against his chest, he couldn't help but visualize Cartman doing it instead.

His eyes widen, he was going crazy. That's the only explanation he could give to himself with how he was acting.

Yeah, this was bad, they had to get Cartman back for everything to go back to normal again.

He recalls of the agreement of their meeting, how Bebe asked how'd they'd be able to go to north park with out their parents knowing.

They all agreed on leaving that to Stan's gang to get fatass as they were Cartman's friends but Wendy and Craig's gang will handle the shit over in south park tricking their parents into believing Stan's gang went to some force week field trip.

It's not like their parents weren't stupid enough to believe that crap but they needed to ask for permission.

It's not like Kyle hasn't disobeyed any of his parents order anyways, no matter what answer it was, he was still going to north park.

And it's definitely not their first time ever leaving South park for longer than three days.

It was morning and he woke up with an awful smell, Mr kitty pissed all over his bed, fucking gross. He's never seen that cat ever pee in Cartman's home, it'll always meow at the door for Cartman to let her out and do what she has to do or just go to her litter box, that cat did it on purpose! Or maybe he should've just put some newspaper or a box, fucking crap.

He ran to the bathroom, took a shower and put some clothes on.

Taking his pj's and bed sheets to the washing machine, what a nice start to his morning, he thought bitterly.

Once settling his clothes in the washer he went up stairs and grab Mr kitty, and then rushed straight to the kitchen fridge and grab a can of sardines.

He sat in the table and place the tuna as he rested the cat in his lap letting her just reach out for the food herself, not thinking much of how bad it was seen as 'table manners', he felt his mother scowled him from the stove but said nothing, he didn't mind by that point he was already too numb by his mother's scolding he wasn't afraid for another.

Even though, once he started middle-school his mother mellowed down some more; saying kids their age needed space and shit like that. So she began stricter with Ike the youngest and being more free caring from Kyle her eldest son.

Which he was very grateful of to an extent.

All his family were already sitting in the table and eating breakfast, his dad didn't seem to questioned the cat and his brother just arched a brow.

"Is that Eric Cartman's cat?" He asked.

Kyle munched slowly his food as he watched him blankly, "no."

"Oh Ike, don't be silly, Eric Cartman moved a month ago I'm pretty sure they took their cat," His mother spoke reassuring, "stop bothering your brother with too many questions," she warned in a more passive aggressive tone.

Again, he didn't understand his parents, or any of the other adults. Apparently he wasn't the only one of the four that their parents mellowed down with, his friends also commented that once they began middle-school their parents seemed a little loosen around the edge when it came to them.

As if they really didn't want to deal with them.

Kyle gently caressed the cat's furry head 'don't worry Mr kitty will get Cartman back' he thought reassuring while smiling softly.

"So.. mom, dad. There gonna be this trip in like two days and-" he began his rehearsed speech of why he should be let go and how'd it'll be an improvement for his still developing mind.

"It's okay, Kyle. You can go," his father interrupted eager, somewhat anxious.

"But-"

"Really, it's alright buddy, do whatever you want," he reassured not even bothering to ask 'what' or 'when' 'who' and 'why', giving him a awkward thumbs up, his mother nodded agreeing sharing that same enthusiasm.

"Dammit, I wish I were in middle-school," he heard Ike cussed out in a whisper.

He definitely wouldn't, he would contradicted it if he actually wasn't in a rush to go talk to his friends and see how'd it went with them.

"Okay, cool—," he said uncertain, dragging the 'O', now placing the cat in the floor as he picked up his place, "I need someone to take care of mr-" he cut off, as he was about to blurt out the cat's actual name, "Mr poopkins while I'm gone," he finished awkwardly.

His family went silent and both his parents shared a look then looked at Ike.

"Well good thing your brother offered himself to take care of it, right Ike?" His dad then added, forcing a smile.

"Me!?" Ike asked incredulous, looking offended, "I don't want to-" his mother clasped her hand on his mouth preventing him to finish his sentence.

"Don't worry, bubbie, it's alright. Ike would happily take care of Mr poopkins for you," she beamed as Ike frowned by that.

"Cool," Kyle said grinning, ignoring the obvious glaring from his younger brother before heading to get his backpack and head out.

It was convenient for sure but it really made him feel like his parents no longer cared for him.

He shrugged those thoughts away as he went to the bus stop.

"So how'd it go?," He asked immediately once approaching Stan.

"My dad flinched cowardly as if I were about to murder him, dude. And I dunno whats their deal but yeah, they let me go," he shrugged, now chugging a bunch of chips, "can you believe Wendy last night told me I had a binge eating problem?" He continued, now crunching the bag in his hands before tossing it to the ground annoyed, "like, there's always something that bothers her, like 'Dude, chill the fuck out I can't eat some chips because NOW I have a issue?' "

Kyle scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "Well.. you do kinda have a problem Stan," he reluctantly admitted.

Making Stan looked at him baffled, "I do not!," he then looked at the ground as his gestures soften, "do I...?" He asked defeated, more to himself than to his friend.

"Hey dudes," Kenny greeted as he approached them.

"Sup, Ken. How it'd go?" Stan asked now recovering from his emotional internal questioning.

"What you mean?"

"Did you asked your parent about the 'field trip'?" Kyle gripped his backpack now remembering how fatass would just barge in and say his latest stupid fact learned from the internet or some magazine he read.

He's not missing Eric Cartman, okay? He's just missing the familiarity and the casualty of it all.

"As if I needed to ask, my parents don't give a crap. I just left them a couple of joints and three packs of beer that'll keep them out for an entire week," he said disinterested as he took out his phone that was buzzing, "fuck, it's Eric."

Kyle eyes widen as he had predicted the obvious, he gripped harder on his backpack expectantly, maybe even hopeful he could hear his voice?

"Cartman calls you?" He heard Stan ask, but he was so damn far lost in his mind he zoned out a bit.

"His calls are random sometimes, I gotta pick this up man," Kenny answered, putting some earphones on, now walking away a couple of feets apart from them unintentionally making Kyle's heart shrunk and his stomach twist.

Kyle questioned himself why he felt disappointed by that, but he shrugged it off like usual, looking at the blonde who chatted animosity as he walked in circles.

Cartman hasn't called both he and Stan not even once since his move, he couldn't be angry at them for the party right? Or were they just nothing to him?

Fuck, even Butters gets to talk to him more than either of them.

That's a douche move even coming from Cartman.

Kenny walked back to his place now phone back in his pocket.

"So what did he say?" Stan asked.

"He was telling me that he had to go to the doctor yesterday and was told he was developing 'pussy-itis' "

"What's that?" Stan asked genuinely confused.

Kyle rolled his eyes, 'my god that was a Cartman thing to say.'

"He said that it's a disease that spreads to new comers when being exposed for too long, he has like vaginas growing inside his ass and the doctor warned him that he could turn into a giant pussy if he keeps it up," Kenny shrugged, now looking at the road.

That condition actually reminded him of the time Stan got growing vaginas in his face and skin because he had stopped eating meat when they were protesting for the calves safety. It was similar as the time Butters accidentally blurted out that Cartman had sparkly cleaned vaginas in his stomach because of the huge amount of vasagsil he ingested as a kid.

And as much as he hated how fucking bizarre and impossible it is for that to happen, he couldn't deny actually witnessing and be proven wrong countless times that it WAS possible. So it wasn't unbelievable to believe Cartman got diagnosed with yet another odd condition.

"Okay, so technically Cartman wants to come back now, right?" Kyle inquired, subtly leaning forward.

"No, he was given medication so he's now 'skwel'," he made a similar impression of Cartman, "he also said to tell Stan about the uh.. something about a— gnome in the cooler or some shit like that? I didn't understand well cause he cut off immediately after that," Kenny shaked his head in disapproval.

Stan flinched, eyes wide and a blank expression adorned his face immediately knowing what Cartman meant, "HOLY SHIT," he exclaimed bewildered before running off without further explanation, leaving both friends confused ass hell.

Kyle looked at Kenny expecting more from that call, but he didn't add anything else. He frowned looking at the ground still gripping his backpack while bitting his lip.

Kenny gasped as he had forgotten something making Kyle flinched in surprise.

"Cartman said 'up your ass, jew' when I told him you called him a pretentious north park bitch," he remarked casually before looking at the school bus stopping infront of them.

Oblivious of a now beaming Kyle, both entering the bus picking a seat behind Butters.

Kyle didn't know why, but he jolted excited stomach feeling all twisted and his heart pounded loudly he could hear it inside his ears.

°°°°

"I haven't told them yet," Butters said as he rubbed his knuckles, heading to class.

"Dude, why not? We're leaving in two days, man," Kenny spoke while holding on to a notebook.

"They're not gonna let me go you guys," He admitted unfazed.

"Okay, so you're planning on sneaking out," Kyle added.

"I'm not sure.." the boy hesitated saying, looking at some flyer.

"You're Eric's best friend and your telling me you're NOT going to go get him?" Kenny inquired, kinda spiteful, "it's not like you haven't sneak out before and for Eric of all people too!

Like, your stupid schemes required a little disobedience from your part to handle all the shit Cartman gives you.

You're Eric fucking Cartman's best friend! It's pretty much not even a choice to not be a little shit head, stop being such a pussy," he blurted out, extending his arms up in the air for emphasis.

"NO, Kenny. I'm NOT Eric's best friend-" he pointed accusatory at the blondes chest, poking it hard, "YOU ARE, so quit your yapping!," he shouted annoyed, causing Kenny to frowned from the tone use.

God, those two have been up their necks since Cartman left, and Kyle couldn't point out why.

Kyle stood there awkwardly as he watch the two bark back at each other like two hounds with no leash, spitting venom and acidic slurs at each other.

'They should shut up already and go make out somewhere else, fuck' he thought annoyingly tired by the dragged banter.

Oblivious of the irony of his own thoughts.

Not wanting for them to escalate any further he stood between them, like a peacemaker.

"If we either become queermo pussies or boring ass side characters, your choice!" he threatened, pointing at the pissed off blonde.

Butters sighed contemplating it, grumbled a 'why should I choose?' As he kicked lightly the ground.

"Or do you have something you're hiding from us, Butters?" Kenny inquired suspiciously, tilting his head.

Butters clenched his fist, fuming, "fuck you!" He screamed out, pushing Kyle to the side before lounging at Kenny starting a fist fight in the hall, now everyone gathering up around them.

Kenny slammed his notebook hard against Butters face while Butters pushed Kenny against the lockers.

'This was some serious shit,' Kyle thought before taking out his phone and recording the fight for later on send it to Stan.

Prev — Next

[nonbinarylesbianherb]

woke up with a dead spider in my bed, must’ve squashed him in my sleep sorry lil bro 😭

[holidaydipstick]

My habitual google searching for Snoopy and his brothers has led me to find a storyboard panel of a very cute Marbles.

His ass is soooooo fat

[beanxiv]

nah cus why did i get robbed today 💔

[chrissdollie]

TODAY WAS SUCH A GOOD DAY GUYS 9/10

[boeing747]

And then my mom is like yeah. I feel bad I fucked up your brother and now he's like this bc I was a young and stupid mother and beat him. Ok like you didn't beat the shit out of me as a child too though! Somehow I'm expected to be able to cope w that I guess and make her feel better about it when she gets in a mood

[teruthecreator]

man this ed SUUUUUCKS

[fedcar273]

https://www.instagram.com/p/DB7QJMLy211/?igsh=MTdmdG81cDAyMjd4Yw==

[gorie-talks-a-lot]

Sorry vegans, but unholy fuck I just had to eat a vegan pepperoni pizza and I think my soul died in my mouth. I have so much respect that you can live like this.

Not even my perpetually greedy cats wanted it.

[yawnderu]

''You're such a fucking asshole and—'' Your words are interrupted by a whiny moan when Keegan starts to thrust up, not letting you get distracted by anything despite your rant.

''Yeah? Keep going, baby. Ride this fucking cock.'' You do as he says, getting on your feet to be able to ride him harder and deeper, the tip of his cock hitting your spongy cervix every single time he goes all the way in. One of your hands is on his hard chest for support, while the other one is holding his jaw, keeping his mouth open to hear the downright lewd groans leaving his lips.

''And... annoying. Cocky. Arrogant—'' Each insult is punctuated by you dropping on his cock, walls tightening up even more when you feel him throbbing inside you.

''Horrible.'' You keep ranting about him despite how good he feels inside you, despite the way his fat cock has your lips gripping on him for dear life. He is all of those things and more, but the tension that has been building up to this day was impossible to ignore. You're impaling yourself down on his cock and he's letting you, mouth open slightly ajar and eyes rolling to the back of his head.

''Fuck— yeah?'' He finds the energy to speak despite the way you're destroying his cock, not even thrusting up anymore and simply letting you do all the work. His hand trails up your spine, grasping at the hair on the back of your neck and keeping your head in place, letting you ride his cock despite his rough hold.

His hand lets go only to slap your face, making you ride faster despite the stinging pain. What a fucking asshole. It doesn't take long for you to return the favor, hand coming up to slap the annoying smirk off of his face— and it works shortly, he looks shocked at getting slapped back, yet pure amusement is soon written all over his annoyingly handsome face, seeing it as a challenge.

You know you fucked up when his calloused hands grasp your waist, holding you in place before using his strength to switch positions, now on top of you. His cock thrusts even deeper like this, hitting your cervix over and over at an almost punishing pace.

''Acting like a fucking bitch all day—'' He groans out, words interrupted by the sharp hiss leaving his lips at the way your pussy tightens more around his cock. He looks down at your lips, leaning closer while managing to keep his brutal thrusts.

''Open that fucking mouth, baby.'' You obey, too fucked out to even think much about it. You're barely able to register the way he spits into your mouth before kissing you, tongues wrapping around the other in a disgusting mess of spit. His hand comes up to grope your tit, fingers squeezing and pulling on the nipple every few seconds as he kisses you, ignoring the way your mixed spit is dripping down the corners of your lips.

The air is heavy with the smell of sex and the sounds of your muffled moans, his grip on your body bruising, fingers digging into your skin as he fucks you with an almost animalistic hunger. He doesn't stop making out with you even when his thrusts become even more brutal, spilling into you with a final, deep thrust. His hot white cum filling you up only makes your body tense up, riding out your orgasms together before he collapses on top of you, his weight keeping you pinned to the bed.

''Get off of me, fatass.'' Your protests go ignored, the asshole only making himself even heavier on top of you even when you try your best to get him off.

[bloogers-boogers]

Kyle Brofloski/Eric Cartman (SP fic)

('What's up with the fatass?')

/Devious melancholy/ part 2

'Wait? You think I'm gay because I'm from south park?'

'Well duh, everyone from south park is gay'

Slight warning ⚠️ just warning yah that's all, these two deranged characters will get together somehow but they will trust me, they will.

~~~~

Cartman inspected the apartment his mother rented, it wasn't bad, not as spacious though, but it'll do for now.

He was grasping the place, the town.. everything seem so lame, he couldn't expect any less from North Park but he'll suck it up for money.

Once they have enough money saved he'll make his mother moved them back to South Park. That was his plan; receive the money, get rich and stop being poor finally living the luxury he deserves, and ofcourse, brag his success to Kyle.

He beamed as he looked at the window contemplating everything he needed to do, to get the plan going. He made sure his mom woke up early because he wasn't risking her to make herself look like a incompetent employee on her first day of work, because he knew she had taken some crack last night before getting out from South park the effects of it just hit harder before going to bed, he fucking hates it so much, he was damn lucky she didn't crash the moving van on the way there. Luckily she wasn't required to do any drug test or both would've been screwed.

He never understood why teens his age were into that crap neither did he understood the adults, or Kenny. He just knew they made everyone stupid afterwards, well, more stupid then they already were.

After pushing his mom outside, practically just shoving her outside before slamming the door and setting his game up on the tv.

He played for like an hour before he reluctantly decided to go outside and see what he'll have to handle for a couple of months.

Everthing seemed so— rich? South Park's biggest accomplishment was having a whole's food in town while North Park had state winning champions working at some McDonald's drive-thru.

In less words, everything looked so 'posh', one of the disadvantages there was its weather; it wasn't cold or atleast to a temperature he was already use to, it was the opposite. For what he had searched it was stated to be one of the hottest places in Colorado, it would only snow just at the end of the year, which is insane. He can't imagine not walking to a almost daily snowy white path, stomping hard on the areas that seem to be deeper in depth cause he just liked the feeling of being sunk in like some wormhole, or making snowmen with his friends.

So there he was, complaining as he walked in the heated weather, it was insupportable he felt himself dragged his feet as his sweat poured down like rivers up his face; like melting snow on a sidewalk, the irony.

Unnoticeable passing by some neighborhood as he craved for water, panting duo the excess warmth in his body and the heavy breathing he was making, maybe he should take off his winter coat? He grasped some air as he took it off sighing as he felt a pin of weight let loose, feeling dizzy he leaned himself against some bench near the crosswalk trying to avoid fainting, now sitting down while holding on to his chest.

Seconds later he was tapped in the forehead with a water bottle, he looked up to curse who ever did that but his mouth went straight flat.

It was a North Parker but seemingly his age, so far he's only encountered old folks, but this one, he was wrinkle free, full of youth and had that innocent looking spirit somewhat spread around him. He was blonde with green eyes, kinda handsome for a dude but looked like a total geek.

"You're not from around here aren't you?," He asked, gesturing his bottle for he to grab it.

He reluctantly grabbed it, crisscrossing he wasn't about to be mugged or something, but shrugging it off immediately as he began drinking it. Stranger danger his ass.

"I'm from South Park, I just moved here, nerd," he commented in his usual banter.

The boy wince seemingly annoyed by the name hesitated in just walking away or indulge further in the conversation.

"You're from south park?," he repeated with a cringed expression as he asked, "no wonder I didn't recognize such a fat piece of crap in our town," he retorted with a similar tone he had use when he mocked him.

"Aye! Who do you think you are!? gaywad pussy licker!," he screeched out, gripping on to the bottle he was holding.

"Everything alright, Jackson?," another boy chimed in as some other boy walked beside him.

"I just found ourselves a South Parker," he stated mockingly.

"No way," the jock looking kid said bewildered, "you come from that crappie ass town?," he laughed dryly.

Cartman frowned, "shut the fuck up you mother fuckin' no good pussy lickin' hippies!," he cursed out loud, pointing out the reggae lover looking dude.

"See? This is why Shart park always stays behind, so stuck up in that common bigotry of yours it doesn't let you guys evolve," the jock stated casually, with a smugly smirk. His group of friends laughing beside him.

"Apparently he just moved here," geek boy informed the jock cunt.

"Wooow," the boy said in a sarcastic way, "that'll mean you'll finally be able to evolve from a shit stain to a fart."

The group laughed as he finally got up and pointed accusing to them.

"This is why you're all prestigious little douches in our category!," he exclaimed before storming off forgetting he had left his coat in the bench.

He heard from behind a 'good thing we aren't looking to be categorized from undeveloped pigs,' and with that he went off home, regretting going outside.

It had become dark, now resting in his couch as he layyed in a bored exaggerated manner. He really wanted to play video games with Kenny but he knew that poor piece of crap was still working a shift at those hours and he knew Butters wouldn't be able to do so either as he remembered two days ago he had commented he was grounded for a week. He sighed heavily contemplating to call either Stan or Kyle bothering them to make himself laugh.

But he turned over to look at the door as there was some banging coming from it.

He groaned annoyed as he walked to open it, "what?," he immediately spat dryly half way opening the door.

And his gaze landed to those familiar green marbled eyes he had previously seen that afternoon.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Did you follow me you creeping stalker!?," unironically being a stalker himself, he questioned offended.

The boy frowned shoving his coat to his chest harshly, startling him.

"Just being a good civilian here, lardass," he commented before huffing, as he took out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it up.

"You smoke!?," he asked baffled, he's never seen a nerd smoke before.

"Yeah, so?," the blonde asked incredulously.

"Didn't know geek boys could smoke," He smugly teased.

The boy just huffed as he roll his eyes, mumbling 'South Parkers,' before eyeing him up and down.

"So are you going to study in North park middle-school?," he asked more curious, puffing his cigarette some more, purposely blowing the smoke on his face making the other cough.

"Kinda," Cartman shrugged in response, wincing by the smell emitted.

"I'm Jackson btw, just for you to remember who targeted you first," He remarked as he stomped on his cigarette putting it out, dragging his hands inside his pockets, "what's yours, fatboy?."

"Aye! I ain't fat you piece of shit!," he blurted out, feeling quite some familiarity in the whole ordeal, "Eric, I'm Eric Cartman."

°°°°

After that 'splendid' encounter with geek boy, his day went to an end, beginning the next day as he was preparing himself to be dropped off at his new school, he stopped in the new bus point he was given and waited to be picked up. He sighed contemplating the new possibilities, new faces, friends, teachers. It's gonna be hard to adapt. But he was Eric T. Cartman, nothing is impossible for him.

He spot the bus half way, heavily breathing he gripped on his backpack.

Entering, the students there just glanced at him indifferent and judgmental, as if he were some weird bug. He sat in some empty seat in the back and heard a couple of students gasped and whispering.

'What was all that about?'

He took out his phone, carelessly about the constant glances at him, texting Kenny about joining on a server that night to play some game.

"Hey, faggot, da fuck are you doing in our seat?."

('Fag' sp canon definition n. 1. An extremely annoying, inconsiderate person most commonly associated with Harley riders. 2. A person who owns or frequently rides a Harley.)

He glanced up from his screen and visualize the jock kid and his stupid hippie group.

"Oh? This seat yours?," he said in a mocking tone, "don't see your name on it whore cummers," he blurted out as he now rubbed his ass all over 'their' seat taunting.

"Tsk, this dimwit," the red head mumbled to his friends.

He then sat next to him intentionally pushing him against the window both other boys tagged in apparently trying to trap him and suffocate him as they squished him forward the window.

"Goddammit!," he winced out trying to loosen there grip. The group of friends just howled in laughter.

"Admit you suck and piss off, southie," the jock kid stated as he leaned his body on him more.

"Over my dead fucking body, dick head!," he screamed slamming his fist up his nuts.

"¡OWW!," he squirmed in pain, reddened face by the embarrassment and ofcourse the agony pain that raised in his nutcrackers, "we got ourselves a fierce one," he stated still holding on to his balls as he winced his eyes shut.

Both boys tried gripping on him but he moved forward scooping himself over to the front seat shoving off some other students as he was chased around the bus from both geek boy and hippie shit. Jackson grabbed him from the leg as he failed attempting to get out from a window gripping on his body against his.

"Got him," He said grinning, as he swooped his body left and right attempting to make him seem like he were dancing even though it was clearly forced. Like a puppeteer and his puppet.

"Let me go, asshat!," He whined trying to lessen his grip, but couldn't. His strength reminded him so much of Kyle's, looking like he wouldn't bat your shit but was totally the opposite when provoked.

"Hmm," He hummed in a fake contempt, nuzzling his perky nose against his neck causing him to shiver by the touch, "what do you think, Stewart?," the boy asked the jock.

As he was finally recovering himself, passing through the walkway up to him, he punched him hard in the stomach receiving a 'hmph!' In return.

"That he isn't as bad as we thought he'd be for some southie," he smugly stated making the trapped boy arched a brow confused.

°°°°

"This is Hershey," Stewart gesture the hippie, who just waved casually, "my best friend Jackson," he continued presenting themselves before stepping inside school grounds. The blonde geek acting like he hasn't already presented himself before.

"What's yours, south bitch?," Hershey now chimed in expectantly.

"I'm Eric," he responded unbothered, as he glance at the huge building. If you were to compare this school to South Park's you wouldn't even see his town as a school.

"We can show you around," Jackson suggested with his hands inside his pockets.

"And when he says 'we' he means 'him' I have to go see Gigy at cheerleader practice, peace," Stewart casually waved off as he joined a couple of other douchbags who were also heading to the gymnasium or field, he wasn't sure exactly.

"Me too, I have to meet up with Jeannie for cleaning the courtyard before class starts," Hershey waved off heading another direction, "don't get lost, dog park," he lastly said before running off in a mischievous manner.

"Aye!," he grumbled out, but was left unheard.

Well, Jackson still was awkwardly standing next to him averting his eyes to a building, then to some students walking by and then the ground.

"So— fatass, what's there to know about you?," he asked, continuously walking to the entrance.

He followed along him, "Aye! I ain't fat you stupid queermo!," he screamed out.

"How 'revolutionary'," he stated sarcastic, before glancing at him, "I'm the debate club leader, I like swimming and have two siblings."

Cartman contemplated his answer before nodding as he pouted out his own, "I was the team captain of the football team and was among the popular kids," he beamed out confidently.

"Haha sure you were," Jackson said taunting, immediately pointed out his bluff, "we know who you are, fatboy."

Cartman halted now looking at him attentively.

"You're the fat, narcissistic psychopath from town that feed his half brother his parents," he explained unfazed, "we know all about the shit that happens to your town on a daily it always becomes a huge fuss for all of us when it comes to you assholes," he shrugged, gesturing a locker.

"That's your locker, E-10 right?."

He nodded in response, uncertain if he'd be able to make friends after being so easily revealed, but why was he talking to him so casually if he already knew who he was and what he's capable of?

Neither brought that topic again as Jackson showed him around campus, it was quite big, the tour had to be cut in short until school ended. For his dismay the class he was assigned to didn't include either of the assholes he just met until third period being seemingly the class he shared Spanish with Stewart, beside him he either would had to wait until seventh period which he shared Biology with Hershey.

It's not like he gave a fuck but he wasn't familiar on being a 'new kid', not only that, but Jackson warned him about how people here weren't to found of people who came from South Park noneless people who were born there he called him a 'TP' at first he thought he called him toilet paper but apparently it was a slang of theirs to call South park visitors 'target parker'; which meant they'll trash them until they leave their town. He found it quite dramatic but then again, their own town has shooed city people away before cause they couldn't tolerate their kind.

It also made sense why the group of boys began trashing him when he first mentioned being from South Park, then reluctantly just acting normally once knowing he actually moved here. That still didn't give him a pass but they had gotten a liking to him very quickly for some reason he still can't grasp upon.

And as such he was targeted for being a complete 'southie' even the teacher bashed on him as he was the one to blurt him out to the class for coming from South park. The only friend he managed to make was in his second period, his name was Jamie Hutson; a seemingly naive freckled boy, brown hair with braces who was from New York. He was pretty chill with the fact he was a 'tp' actually he seem to have 'pity' of him for coming out from a town like that. But when he meant 'seemingly' it's because he looked like that, but was a complete jerk to everyone displaying a false attitude infront of teachers being a A+ student but immediately flipping switches bullying some classmates there like an bigoted.

He actually felt grateful that it seem he had been taken lightly being called slurs and some bigotry comments compared to a red head kid that hanged in some wall hanger by his underwear.

"So, what's your socials, shart-fart?," Jamie approached, resting his elbows in his desk as he beamed innocently.

He huffed, "call me shartfart again, asshole, I dare you!," he threatened almost falsely, cause he really didn't want to bother on doing anything.

"Oh? You're gonna do something to me?," He smugly stated, chuckling, "so?," he extend his phone twoards him expecting for he to write his number.

He reluctantly typed his number down before huffing as he heard the bell rang and dashed off.

Maybe it'd be convenient to befriend the bully of their school?

He bumped in to geek boy again, who had cuss him out for not watching his way as he had dropped his books, he didn't bother helping out cause that's just how he is.

"Thanks for shit, asswipe," he spat bitter, as he tried organizing them in his arms.

"You're welcome, dearest," he teasingly said eying him, batting his eyelashes in a innocent manner.

He won't deny he was very appealing for the eye, he like how he shot back instantly every time he taunt back, those fierce eyes hooked him up like a fisherman's fish hook and his sly smirk was dazzling, smug, knowingly. He clearly has that competitive attitude, he seem smart, hot-headed and calculated, he seemed rival material.

Before he could even speak back he stopped him with his palm, "what religion do you follow?," he asked now intriguingly curious.

Jackson arched a brow skeptical, "why do you want to know, fatass!?," he questioned knowingly, a deep annoyed voice.

Cartman couldn't help but to smirk by that, oh, he's perfect.

"Y'know just?," he shrugged smugly, "it doesn't matter I'll figure it out," he winked as he began walking to his next class leaving the boy speechless.

That day he stalked his new 'friends', and found everthing he needed to know about them. He also figured out Jackson Hu was a no good, annoyingly boring cult member of a jehovah witness.

He smirked as he watched a picture of the boy on his laptop, resting his chin on his hand now contemplating all the new insults coming his way.

His third day in North park seemed to be flowing well, now hanging out with the three boys he first met really helped the attention fade away from him. But ofcourse, being part of the gang had requirements.

"I looked up your medias, fatboy and I'm quite disappointed," Stewart shaked his head in disapproval.

"What do you mean?," He asked as he munched on some chips indifferent, he loved his profile it had everything he liked, his personalized feed and pictures of his annoying friends.

"Well, it's.. too— your 'kind'," he stated thoughtful, cringing lightly.

"Yeah, if you want to be one of us, you have to start from zero," Hershey nagged, as he snapped his phone from his jacket opening his medias.

"Aye! What do you think you're doing, hippie!?," he protested, trying to grab his phone but was stopped by Jackson who only extended his arm blocking him from going any further.

"We have an image to keep clean, fatass. If anyone knew we let a stinky south parker in our group no one will take us seriously anymore," he explained.

"Might aswell clean you up from that stank your douche town left you," Stewart added as he crossed his arms now looking at his phone along with Hershey.

"But the whole school knows I'm from South Park!."

"Yeah, but we figured if we take all that stank away we could cure you from your disease," Stewart explained disinterested.

"I ain't sick you motherfucker!," he blurted out angry as he watched how the ginger typed rapidly on his phone.

"Here," Hershey gave back his phone, "now just add your details and will add you back. No south parkers, man," he pointed out seriously.

"Not even Kenny!?," he screamed baffled.

The group looked confused unknowingly and shrugged indifferent of his protests.

"I changed your password and email from your previous so you can't get in, just security majors," the ginger added before taking out his phone, "done, added."

His other friends did the exact same thing adding him back.

He sighed as he looked at his now boring empty profile, all his years worth of work being drained back down, his followers, his posts his reels. This sucked ass.

The sacrifices he has to do for keeping up a few months in this hell of a shit town.

°°°°

A week in, and he's been blending well in the north park group. He was actually enjoying his stay and was ACTUALLY learning new things.

A requirement also to be seen as part of Stewart's group was to have atleast a average 8.5 grading in each class he took! So he forcefully had to pay attention and STUDY, another was to be atleast in a club and practicing a sport. 'Why not kick me in ball while you're at it, dickwad!,' is what he blurted out as he was told, 'Shut the fuck up, lardbutt! Those are the rules. You either follow or leave your pick!,' is what he had told him.

He thought it'd be impossible but he actually managed after three deadly dreaded days. Jackson even offered to help him out studying, which he found nicely convenient, alway offering himself to go study at his place or at lunch. He was okay with it cause he figured out the boy was loaded and had the best of snacks.

'That's not how the ginger gene works, fatass!' He remembered his previous arguments, 'It so is, you dumb jehovah witness! I know, trust me I'm an expert,' he defended his theories.

Kyle was ginger, Scott and his dad we're ginger, even, and as much as he hates to admit it, he was half ginger. So he knows damn well his people, unfortunately.

It was pretty much heated like that with Jackson, he liked it though. It turned a spark in him.

"So— is that Kenny dude your boyfriend or something?," Jackson asked outta the blue as they headed to his place.

"What? Kenny!?," he said bewildered, "why would you think he'd be my boyfriend!? I ain't gay!."

"You aren't?," he asked looking now incredulous.

"No!?," 'why the fuck would he think that!?' He thought offended.

"Well, you are from South park," he shrugged in a answer.

Did they really see them as some gay faggots?

"Wait? you think I'm gay cause I'm from South Park?," he asked baffled, eyeing him up and down.

'And they called 'us' stupid.'

"Well duh, everyone from south park is gay."

"I'm not gay, asswipe."

Jackson halted, shaking his head in disappointment, "you don't have to feel embarrassed to be yourself, fatass. We are all very accepting and very opened minded," he rested his hand on his shoulder, ignoring his claims.

"That's bullshit, you guys are hypocrites, since I got here I've just been ridiculed for being born in South park," he explained somewhat not continuously contradicting his 'suspicions.'

Jackson slide his arms on his, gripping him lightly, "look, being gay is highly different than being a tp." He added, now caressing his left arm, "I always thought you were cute," he said playfully in a sultry voice.

He was left bewildered, his brain short-cirquited for brief seconds that felt like hours. Did he call him 'cute'?

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[suiana]

imagine living in the forest and you accidentally get a yandere! bear hybrid who's big and fluffy and huggable because why the hell not.

he comes to your backyard whenever he feels like it, breaks into your house, steals your food and makes himself at home.

you didn't even know who the heck this guy was.

"erm excuse me what the fræk."

"hur hur hur hur"

the worst part of it all is that he'll cling to you like a child. no matter how much you do, his warm burly arms will stay wrapped around your waist as he nuzzles into your neck.

you don't really care if he steals your food (you do) or if he takes up 90% of the space on your couch, what really ticks you off is when he clings to you like he's your boyfriend. like bro, stop it!!! sure you like the cuddles but he clings to you for hours at a time and you can't get anything done.

btw this bear is HUGE, like twice your size in both height and build because, he's a bear duh. you can't even fight back if you wanted to. he'd just sit down on you and you'd be incapacitated immediately.

"oi get ur fatass off me-"

"meow"

yeah, he can talk to. he just chooses not to and it really annoys you because why the hell does he just make random noises???

you even remember one time where he talked threatened to your best friend and it left them pissing their pants. like hello??? excuse me you can't just do that.

"leave my mate alone-"

"wtf did u just talk"

"...woof?"

at least he's nice to be around during the winter you guess😮‍💨 and he doesn't try anything other than invading your personal space and DRAINING all your food.

"fatass bear 😒"

"honk"